Wow, Mattie: OUTSTANDING!You said it so clearly, so well.Just a reminder: Some of us who applaud you, who call you courageous....we DO have a bit of a clue what's behind the smile and how MUCH agonizing work it takes to simply show up for the day, much less be actively involved in it.....and we use the same words others do, because, well, there are so few words, and absolutely none that truly convey "the real deal". It's so inadequate, to sound like we are applauding you being in pain, you having to work at tasks many take so much for granted that they'd never even BE labeled tasks in their books. What I applaud it the choice/s, knowing the choices come with high costs, sometimes unfathomable ones. That the choices are a g'zillion little ones, for the bigger ones are actually easier to make in many ways. It's applauding your spirit and the fact that you ARE here, that you are choosing as you are. You know the cost and you choose to pay it............and then you choose not to involve the world in the factors BEHIND those choices, so they won't feel badly and act even MORE awkward around you than some already do. Ahhh but I hope you have a treasured few. Who do indeed know "the more" of the story. Those with whom you're able to share the-pain-of-the-moment and the concern of the cost and if you CAN afford to pay it this time.Oh how I love and respect that you are finding that delicate balance. Sharing, as you do in your writing, "the more" of the story.You remind me of our Christ.....only He knew what was required of Him, and even then, in some ways He didn't know at the time the fullness of it all (like when He was 12 and teaching in the Temple) and yet, like Him, you keep putting one foot in front of the other. You keep reaching out to others, even thru their ignorance and their acts of safely distancing themselves from realities that make THEM feel vulnerable....you keep the hand of invitation out there, all while guarding your own soul, and fueling it with music and song and other avenues of expressing the-whole-story: The Celebrations, the agonies, the fears, the pains, the defeats, the triumphs, the determination to not quit (at least not for very long---hey, even Christ retreated into the garden).Thanks for being the amazing, incredible person you are. Yup, for the unseen grumbling and tears and frustrations, the LOUD music....and for transforming all of it, into more music, more art, more spoken words..........and thus changing not only you, but those of us out here who're listening.Much Love, Warm Support and Prayer-Songs flowing....Ms Lu
You have a definite gift with words. I love that you share it with others. This poem has an awesome message made even more special because you read it too! Thanks for bringing encouragement into my life today Mattie!